The Zen of Recovery

Addiction. It is probably the most horrific word I can think of in the English language. It is the thing that altered my entire life and almost rendered a further life impossible for me. I went from a successful writer and editor to a convicted felon within a very short space of time, 24 hours to be exact. That’s all it takes, after all, one day, just 24 hours to turn from whatever you once were to someone you no longer know. The addiction itself of course grew and evolved over the course of a few years, but the cataclysm of change took only one day.

Officially, I call myself “Lady Lazarus,” though the descriptor How to Buy Xanax 1 Mg Online without Prescription is not mine. I owe Sylvia Plath for that name because she wrote Buy Xanax Online an awe-inspiring poem of the same title. But, I use that name because technically, I am a woman who came back from the dead, much like Lazarus in the Bible. I was a respected, well-liked, quiet, and by all accounts decent woman when I started ingesting large quantities of Xanax for my anxiety problems. (I had no idea that I had a lot more than “anxiety.” In fact, I had full-blown and undiagnosed bi-polar disorder, but that comes in later.)

Anyway, over the course of time, what began as a harmless little appetite for those pink pills turned to a horrendous lust for the addictive substance that became the absolute alpha and omega of my existence. I couldn’t fathom a world without them. So, the day finally came when my prescription refills ran out, and on that day, I literally cracked up. My bi-polar madness reached a fever pitch. I went into a complete state of disassociative mania and walked into a drugstore and asked for Xanax while I had a knife in my hand.